he puts the penis in happiness.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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