I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Randomize
