Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
Randomize
