Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
The EMT told me when I left the ER "I'd like to take off your pants again and inspect your package. Just not during a medical emergency..." We're hooking up tonight.
Points for getting a hot hook up after getting a shard of glass in your thigh. Almost makes it worth it.
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
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