May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
