just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Bagel with cream cheese. It's blowing my fucking mind.
How high are you right now..
I MICROWAVED IT. SIGNIFICANT IMPROVEMENT.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize