It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
Randomize