i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
