I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
ARE YOU OKAY?
Physically? Yes. Morally? No.
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
