the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
