it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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