He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
