Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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