He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Randomize
