The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
He came into my room last night and started peeing underneath my desk, I told him the bathroom was the next door over.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
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