if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
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