so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
Randomize
