Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
There's nothing like a guy talking about your vagina as if it's delicious food to make your day better.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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