i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize
