Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
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