Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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