Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
