If i come over, it means nothing
How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
