talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
I’m the skeleton in his closet, but I only come out on Tuesday and Thursday afternoon and when his wife is out of town
Randomize
