i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
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