what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Vodka?
Forever.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I'll just tell you, some how when we were having sex on Friday my collarbone got fractured.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
