office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize