Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
bring money and cleavage
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
Randomize
