You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
You are the sheppard guiding my vagina away from horrible decisions.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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