I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Randomize
