I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Finals drinking + forgeting you had to take your ambien because you work at 6am mid paper= drunk logic which then entails going on a "detox" run. Puking your guts put in the field house bushes while some random guy says to you "its okay. We're marching on."
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
Randomize
