see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
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