Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Randomize
