did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
