Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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