Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Once two people had broken bones it had become a bulk hospital trip so we took the party bus
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize
