Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Do drug dealers work on Memorial Day?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
