Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
okay, but you can't tell anyone. Every time he instagrams something with the caption "avocado," it means he's booty calling me. Happy?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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