Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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