Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Rumble strips road head = magical
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Randomize
