so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Randomize
