would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
My mom asked what the mark on my neck was - I told her I burned it with a straightener.
She believed that the monsterous hickey on your neck was a burn?
well, not really. but then i reminded her that my sister has yet to take that pregnancy test and she conviniently forgot about my hickey
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
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