i am sick of getting naked and seeing how fat i am.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
