I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize