Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
