there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
Randomize
