I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
You screamed at all of us and then showed us your sack. You're like the boyfriend of my dreams.
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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