I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
Randomize
