oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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