we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
