Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
An old lady WILL get vomited on today.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
So the tow truck driver didn't charge us because Ian convinced him that he was sent out by God to share his cocaine with us.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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