this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
Randomize
