why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
And now, by the power vested in me by the state of intoxication, I now pronounce you fucking awesome.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
