Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
