I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
