but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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