New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
i could't wear that belt anymore, it was gonna make me keep shitting for the rest of the night
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
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