you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
My breasts were aching with rage.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Randomize
