i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Randomize
