god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize
