She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
