it's too hot outside to masturbate.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
