i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
